Surviving a break up !

hey Peeps

Everyone has been there, you know what I am talking about. Remember the devastation you felt when your best friend got another best friend and you threw up behind the swings? Getting dumped when we have grown up is no less traumatic, except we seldom have a roundabout close by.

Let’s be honest here. Even though we feign surprise at our sudden unwanted single status, there were always signs, which our egos were loathe to interpret as the beginning of the END.

Remember that slight unwillingness on your partner’s side to make plans anything more than a week into the future? That sudden unavailability at short notice? The sudden lack of interest in all matters sexual? The sudden fatigue at 10.30 pm on a night out? We see these things, but we don’t want to see what they mean, so we believe those glib excuses to spare ourselves the pain.

And then, of course, the CRUNCH. Usually introduced by sentences like, “We really have to talk” (This actually means “I really want to talk”) or “I need more space” (This actually means there’s someone else). 

Or worse – the unimaginative “This no longer works for me” or the dramatic “I would like you to meet Judy/Mark”.

At this point the person who is being dumped (the dumpee) has a choice between only two things. Firstly, to walk away with dignity – yes, I'm sure someone managed that in 1990, or to walk away eventually after behaving with a distinct lack of dignity.

The possibilities here are endless. These include throwing things (including the dumper), shouting and yelling, threatening self-annihilation, inflicting bodily harm, burning down the house and generally behaving in such a way that three different neighbours call the police.

But what then? The phone is quiet and that deadening feeling in the pit of your stomach does not go away despite the alcohol, the hamburgers, the endless chocolates and two days of fasting.

Apart from dealing with the death of a loved one, being dumped is one of the worst things you will have to go through in your life. You feel worthless, unattractive, uninspiring and about as interesting to the opposite sex as a wet dishcloth.

You are convinced that it was all your fault and that it would not have happened if you were more attractive, more intelligent, better company, wittier or fabulously wealthy.

Your self-image lies somewhere on the bottom of the swamp, and as far as you are concerned, the world might already have ended last week – you would not have noticed anyway.

There are a few things you can do to survive this ordeal:

• Give yourself adequate time to mope. Lie in bed for a weekend. Groan and gnash your teeth and get it out of your system. You don’t want to carry this with you forever.
• Get hold of your friend who did not like your partner (there is always one) and, over a bottle of wine, find out exactly why. Ask for gruesome details.
• Make a list of the 10 worst things your partner ever did to you or made you feel. Photocopy this and stick it up all over the house, so whenever you miss your ex-partner, you can look up and see this list. Ask yourself whether you aren’t relieved that you are not in any of those situations right now.
• Take joy in your new-found freedom. Be impulsive and do things on the spur of the moment and enjoy the fact that you do not have to inform anyone.
• Rely heavily on friends. Use their shoulders to cry on, but also organise activities with them that have a bit more scope than weeping and wailing.
• Know that somewhere along the line someone is going to dump your partner, who will then find out how you are feeling right now.
• Accept that friends will choose sides. The less you do to try and win them over, the more likely they are to choose your side. Vitriolic nastiness about ex-partners, even if justified, is not an endearing feature in people.
• If you are very depressed or suffering from insomnia, get help from your doctor. A therapist could also be of great help to get you through this difficult time and also to work through personal problems with which you might be struggling. Why should you suffer unnecessarily?
• If you have been dumped for someone else, fantasizing about torturing the two of them to death, although vastly pleasant, will not get you anywhere. Be consoled by the thought that however rosy their romance might be now, sooner or later the new partner will start to complain about the exact same things that really irked you. The hyena guffaw is only cute in the first week of a relationship.
• Accept that maybe this person just did not deserve you and that you now have the opportunity to grow and explore other avenues.
• Don’t fall into a rebound relationship. This will only postpone your problem, not solve it.
• Hard as it may be, consider the fact that the other person is probably not going through the same trauma as you are. Is he/she really worth all those sleepless nights and gnashed teeth?
• Refuse to be a victim and don’t let yourself be traumatised by constant contact with the ex-partner. And above all else, remember that looking good and feeling happy is the best revenge.

Until da next Tyme!

Why you shouldn't wait by the phone?

hey peeps,

Everyone's been there. You've met someone you really fancy, they took your number and now you're waiting for the phone to ring. And it does, but first it's someone with the wrong number, then it was your grandmother or mother  who blocked the line for 20 agonising minutes talking about her arthritis, and finally your best friend to hear if the call has come through.

Agony. And others in the house have noticed that you're suddenly keen to answer the phone, whereas usually you couldn't care less.

So why shouldn't you hang around waiting for it to ring?

• A watched phone never rings.
• You should not put your life on hold for anyone
• You don't want this person to think that you're desperate, because you answered the phone so quickly
• You could be missing out on other opportunities while you're guarding the phone
• Your family members could catch on and start teasing you
• If this person really wants to get hold of you, he/she will phone again
• If you're not at home when the call comes through, it looks like you have an active social life
• You are doing things to your tension levels and blood pressure if you hang around the phone
• So what if the phone doesn't ring? Your life won't come to a standstill
• If this person is destined to get hold of you, he/she will

Put your faith in fate. Someone I know met a nice guy in London, lost his phone number, and bumped into him again two days later on the Tube – in a city of ten million people! They got married a year later. What must be, will be.

Until da next Tyme !

Britains Brainest family

hello peeps,


This is truly awesome and it reflects our new generation of role models !


Paula and Peter Imafidon are just like any other 9-year-olds. They love laughing, playing on the computer and fighting with each other. What sets these twins apart from their peers, though, is that they are, hands down, prodigies who are about to enter high school and make British history as the youngest to do so.

The precocious London-based tykes, known as the "Wonder Twins," floored academics a year ago when they aced University of Cambridge's advanced mathematics exam. They are the youngest students to ever pass the test.

The future little scholars' father, Chris, and mother, Ann, immigrated to Britain from Nigeria more than 30 years ago and have actually been down this prodigy route before with their three older children, who are also overachievers. 

The couple's oldest daughter, Anne-Marie, is now 20, but at age 13, she won a British government scholarship to take undergraduate courses at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore.Christiana, 17, their other daughter, is the youngest student ever to study at the undergraduate level in any British University at the age of 11. Youngest daughter, Samantha, now 12, passed two rigorous high schoolevel mathematics and statistics exams at the age of 6. She mentored the twins to pass their own math secondary school test when they were also 6. 

Even with all of this, the proud dad denies that there is any particular genius in his family. He does credit his children's success to the Excellence in Education program for disadvantaged inner-city youth. "Every child is a genius," he said. "Once you identify the talent of a child and put them in the environment that will nurture that talent, then the sky is the limit. Look at Tiger Woods or the Williams sisters -- they were nurtured. You can never rule anything out with them. The competition between the two of them makes them excel in anything they do."

The darling duo are competitive to say the least, and this is what fuels them to out-achieve each other. Paula said, "I am excited to pass, but I should have got higher than Peter."
As far as career paths Paula says she wants to be a math teacher, while Peter aspires to be prime minister one day.



All it takes is a dream....


Until da next Tyme !

Truer Words !!!

hey peeps,  I was sent the words below and I wanted to share it with you all! Its worth a good read and maybe putting into practice ! The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.  Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will change.  Some of your friends will not want you to go on.  They will want you  to stay where they are...  Friends that don't help you climb will want you to  crawl.  Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream.  Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you. Consider this: Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who  never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has  a right to speak into your life.  You are certain to get the worst of the  bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.  Don't follow anyone  who's not going anywhere... With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it.  Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life.  Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.  If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl.  But, if you associate with eagles, you  will learn how to soar to great heights. "A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses." The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad. Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends. Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what.  Just know that they are human first  and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and  will fit somewhere in the criteria above. "In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us.  In Adversity We Know Our friends." "Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them." "If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters.  Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.." Until da next Tyme !