Sade - We missed you !

Hey peeps ,

I had the pleaseure of listening to the new Album by Sade " Soldier of Love"

My first and initial reaction is " Welcome back"

Sade has always beeing a powerful and heart wrenching singer and this album takes you on her incrdeible journey , it shows her strong individuality and allows you to walk her path to where she has been and where she is now, and finally you get the sense of love feeling that she spreads in the final tracks on the album.

I will be buying my copy this weekend and I suggest you do too!

Until da next Tyme

Relationship Destroyers !

Hello Peeps,


following the trend fior the last few days .... read on !

So, how is your relationship going? Coasting along, or are you skirting in between the landmines? These are seven things that will sabotage any relationship.

Jealousy. Possessiveness and jealousy on your part will only make your partner feel trapped. This could lead to them wanting to get away from you, because you make them feel claustrophobic. Ironically the single thing you wanted to prevent.

Sexual problems. If you are having sexual problems, and are unable to talk about them, or get it together to go for professional help, alarm bells should be ringing. Different people have different sexual needs, so once a week may be quite sufficient for one partner, but not for the other.

Old issues. Long shadows from the past can cast a pall over present relationships. If you have abandonment issues, self-image issues, self-worth issues, drug issues, dependency issues or endless financial issues, it is unrealistic to expect them not to have an impact on the relationship you are currently having.

Financial woes. Financial worry is part and parcel of life – few couples never have these. But constant agonising about money, running up of debts and misspending can cause a lot of tension in any relationship. When couples are unable to synchronise their spending habits or their financial values, trouble looms.

Parenting styles. Parents need to present a united front to their children. If one parent allows the kids to do things and the other forbids it, it causes confusion for the children and stress in relationships. When children are stepchildren, this becomes even more important. Parents need to decide on certain ground rules and stick to them.

In-law troubles. When parents are unhappy with your choice of spouse, or parents are unwilling to let go of their child and let him/her start a new life, it causes great trouble for the couple. There is ongoing stress and family dramas and everyone feels they are being pulled in different directions.

Old flames. Sometimes there are old boyfriends or girlfriends who just won't back off. This can cause endless dramas and jealous fits. If it really upsets your partner that you see an old flame, weigh up the different issues here. Is a cup of tea with an old boyfriend really worth an unpleasant atmosphere at home for days? On the other hand, does your partner perhaps have a reason to feel insecure?

Until da next Tyme!

10 Questions that can start a fight !

Hello Peeps.... 


You're so angry, you feel as if you could combust spontaneously. She's gone gambling with the rent; he forgot to fetch the kids from school; she invited her mother to stay for six weeks; he cancelled the holiday without telling you; she's kissed an old boyfriend. The list goes on.


And now you are squaring for a fight that's been brewing for months.


Partners fight. That's a fact. But what does it do to you to live under such unpleasant circumstances?

What took you so long? Unless you were there yourself and saw the queue, or understood the complexity of the task instead of sitting on your backside in the car, you wouldn't be asking this.

Do you even know what day it is today? Birthday, anniversary, a year since the dog died. Your mind is racing, but whatever day it turns out to be, you are in the dog box.

Don't you think it's your turn to wash the dishes? Out comes a list of all the tasks you haven't performed when you should have, or performed inadequately. Good for at least a half an hour of fighting.

Do you know what you do that really irritates me? This one's good for a Wimbledon final of a fight. Who can resist a catalogue of the other person's shortcomings over the last 14 years – and rest assured, there is always a counter-attack.

Have you even looked in the mirror today? Well, it's implied, if you did, you would never have left the house – and you expect me to look at that all the time?

You know what gets me about your mother? Mothers are dangerous ground. You can criticise your own mother all you like, but not someone else's. Even if your wife thinks her own mother is up for the Dragon of the Year award, she can say it, but you can't.

When last did we have sex? There is always implied criticism in this question. What it does say is the last time we had sex, the Dead Sea was still only sick. Get a move on.

Did you see what your son did? Aah, so suddenly when something goes wrong, he's my son, isn't he? But when he wins the trophy for bilingualism at school, he's ours.

You didn't forget to pay that account did you? This question anticipates that you did. So even if you remembered, you will take umbrage at the tone of the question. And if you forgot, out come the boxing gloves.

Why are we having chicken again? This is only asked by someone who has not been into a supermarket during the last year. Food prices have risen sharply and many people are really struggling to make ends meet. If you are juggling a tight budget, criticism is the last thing you feel like.

Until da next Tyme!

Daft /Stupid Relationship decisions!

What's good people !


When it comes to relationships, we all have 20/20 hindsight. We can mostly see where we, or of course mostly the other person, went wrong, and we vow not to choose the same man/woman again or to repeat the same mistakes. So why do we?

Many people have low self-esteem and do not think they really deserve someone who is together and sorted out. They choose someone who needs them, rather than someone they need. This also diverts their attention from their own issues and problems. 

“If someone is a rescuer by nature, there could be a pattern in their relationships. They could choose men or woman with an addiction problem, one after the other, setting themselves up for failure, because the other person may not want to be helped.”

But choosing the wrong kind of person again and again is not the only mistake you can make. There are lots of others.

Decisions that could lead to disaster

Will you be my heart-lung machine? Remember that neurotic obsession is not an attractive thing. No-one wants to feel smothered by a new relationship in which the other person seems to have no interest in anything else, besides the relationship. People need outside interests and friends as well. No healthy relationship can exist without it.

If you loved me, you would stop drinking. You cannot, however much you love someone, get him/her to stop smoking/eating/drinking/drugging. That has to be their decision and cannot hinge on your conditional love. If you can’t live with their habits, look after yourself and get out. You cannot change someone else, only yourself.

And baby makes three. Having a child to cement an already rocky relationship is almost always a mistake. Having a child puts enormous pressure on healthy relationships, and even more so on rickety ones. Very often, having a child highlights and worsens the rifts, rather than healing them.

So who was that you were smiling at? Being overly possessive and jealous will make the other person back off rather than come closer. You cannot box someone in. In the long run, this will make them feel claustrophobic and make them leave you, exactly what your jealous behaviour is setting out to prevent.

Tit for tat. Deciding to pay back your partner in the same currency they have been using, seldom works. If someone lacks the consideration to know that he has to phone you when he is going to be late, chances are he will not be overly concerned when you are late. It often gives people ammunition against you, rather than make them feel what you are going through.

Badmouthing your partner to others. This is never a good idea, as it evokes sympathy for your partner, whatever their shortcomings may be. And it makes you look critical, insensitive and bitchy. And alerts people to the fact that you probably have an inferiority complex – hence the need to cut your partner down. If your relationship should ever end, people will take your partner’s side.

Giving the silent treatment. Withdrawing from someone else and refusing to say what’s wrong is a form of passive aggression. Withdrawing in this manner also reveals a certain emotional immaturity – it’s a bit like the kid who overturns the board when she loses the game. If you have difficulty talking to your partner, write a letter, or go and see a relationship therapist. If your partner won’t go and see someone or won’t respond to your letter, what are you still doing in the relationship?

Having an open relationship. Heavens, isn’t this a contradiction in terms? Either you have a relationship, or you don’t. Who feels like endless petty jealousies and strings of third parties? And let’s face it, while this state of affairs might suit one of the partners, there is always one who suffers in silence, but tolerates this, because they don’t want to end the relationship.

Staying together because of the kids. This is almost always a mistake. Kids are not stupid and are very sensitive to atmospheres and vibes. Kids who grow up in the shadow of a marriage that has gone sour, might very well bear longer-lasting scars than kids who went through their parents’ divorce. At least in the case of the latter, it is usually a short sharp shock and then people can get on with their lives again.

Staying on past the sell-by date. People often carry on with a relationship out of habit, or social pressure, or a feeling of obligation. These three things have often also made people drift into marriages that turn out to be less than successful. If a relationship is over, get out. If the thought of waking up next to that person for the next 40 years fills you with dread, hit the road. You are wasting valuable time and energy.

Using a third party to do your dirty work. This includes getting involved with someone else as a means of ending an existing relationship, or using someone else to break the news to your partner. If something is not working, have the guts to tell someone face-to-face. After all, they did invest a part of their life in being with you.

Not telling your partner that you love him/her. Everyone wants to hear this. Don’t take someone else for granted. It is the quickest way to make them regret having got involved with you. Making someone work hard to earn your conditional affection might keep them on their toes for a while, but everyone gets tired at some point.

Until da next Tyme 

Partner driving you nuts?

Hey peeps!


Time to tackle those less than talked about subjects !

As you approach the pothole in the road, you feel yourself tensing up. When is she going to start ranting about the municipality and how the country has gone to pot? It’s not like you haven’t been through this 976 times before. And what exactly is it your partner would like you to do about this?

Sharing your life with anyone is difficult. People are sometimes unpredictable, have different values and priorities, do things differently and frankly, are just sometimes inconsiderate.

So what are the most irritating things anyone can do in a relationship?

Moaning Minny. There are times when complaining is appropriate, such as when you find you are paying for the whole street’s water bill, but for many people complaining is simply a bad habit. The weather, the neighbours, the news, the government – all things over which you have little or no control. Constant moaning about things that are beyond anyone’s control, makes those around you feel depleted, negative, helpless and frankly, keen to avoid you in future.

Snoring like a chainsaw. OK, I know this is not done deliberately by the snorer, but the murderous thoughts that go through your head while you listen to this cacophony at 3.20 am. find expression somewhere in the relationship. Go and see your GP – there are things you can do to solve this problem.

Comparisons are odious. No one likes being compared to others. If your partner ever starts a sentence with, “Why can’t you be more like…” it might be time to see the divorce lawyer. There will always be someone somewhere who is thinner, prettier, richer, more witty, more handy, a better dresser and so forth. Being compared to anyone only heightens one’s sense of inadequacy, and often reduces one’s willingness to do something about a situation.

The heart-lung machine syndrome. Clinging to your partner for dear life can become very stifling. Expecting the other person to take responsibility for your happiness and entertainment is the quickest way to make them feel claustrophobic and want to hit the road. Do your own thing and get a life – that way the relationship is much more likely to survive.

Not listening. Right, no one can be on full alert all the time, but when someone is talking about important arrangements or issues, do them the favour of giving your full attention. Sometimes your partner may be talking about things they find difficult or painful, and if you don’t listen attentively, they might not talk to you next time, but to someone else.

Being jealous and possessive. This again reveals your own sense of insecurity  and your belief that you don’t really deserve to have this person as a partner. Possessiveness can begin as something irritating and end up as a major issue. The quickest way to end a relationship is to restrict someone else. No one likes feeling imprisoned and obviously the lure of freedom will become very strong. And when your partner packs his/her bags, you will only have yourself to blame.

Not clockwatching. There is no point in being fanatical about time, but if you are always late for everything, your partner will start to resent you. Maybe he or she really would like to see the opening scenes of movies or get to dinner parties when they are still at the drinks stage. Make the effort to be on time – it shows respect for the other person.

Giving constant advice. Being supportive sometimes means not giving advice, but just listening. It is very controlling behaviour to constantly tell someone what they should be doing with their money, career, family and habits. Don’t give advice unless you are asked for it. You will only be resented for it and seen as interfering.

Being a slob. This is simply unattractive and makes the living space an unpleasant place to be. Ten minutes of effort a day could sort this out. How difficult can it be to give the duvet a pluck in the morning, put your coffee cup in the sink, hang your clothes in the cupboard wipe the counter and hang the towels on the towel rack?

Harping on old issues. You are fighting about the empty milk carton in the fridge and you end up in a vicious slinging match about each other’s families and their shortcomings. And the attention he paid to another woman at a party four years ago. And your locking the keys in the car twice on the same day. Get the picture? These fights are actually over and have been for many years, but they get hauled out and dusted off and revisited. Don’t do this – there is no point to this.

Being fanatically tidy. This is also unattractive. It makes your partner nervous if you hover like a vulture waiting to pounce on the ashtray, the coffee cup, the bread knife. Being fanatical about every dust speck is a complete turn-off for your partner and makes the house feel un-lived-in.

Criticising your partner in front of others. This is the ultimate turnoff and makes you look like the villain of the piece. If you criticise your partner in front of others, you are actually only broadcasting your own insecurities and everyone’s sympathies will lie with the one who has been slighted. Telling her she’s stupid, incompetent, unable to tell a story correctly or follow directions, only makes you look insensitive and boorish. Should she ever get it together to leave you, all the friends will side with her.

Until da next tyme!

10 things men do that irritate women!

Back in January , women came under the spotlight, or under fire, depending on your point of view. This month it's the men's turn. So what are those things that he does that makes the woman in his life feel as if she could burst a vein in her head?

Thinking your driver's licence is not real. Somehow men just don't see your driver's licence as being quite as valid as theirs. Often, they would prefer to drive the whole way – even if it's 1 500 km – rather than asking you to drive for an hour or two. Point is, percentage-wise, women are involved in far fewer accidents than men are – ask any insurance company.

Assuming the house cleans itself. This is a big one. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but no, wet underwear does not remove itself from the bathroom floor, food does not miraculously appear on the table, or in the fridge, clean and ironed clothes do not get into the cupboard by themselves and the dishes don't clean by themselves overnight. Someone does all these things. Who do you think it could be? Could it be the other person in the house who also has a nine-to-five job? Wouldn't it be nice to wash the dishes every now and then without expecting a Nobel Peace Prize for doing it?

Being jealous. It drives women away when men treat them like awaiting-trial prisoners, whose every move is under scrutiny. When men do this, it's about their own insecurities and their fear of rejection. When a man treats a woman like this, isolating her and accusing her of all sorts of things, he is showing his fear, not his love, and exhibiting what he thinks is his right to treat her like a possession. Most women find relationships like these claustrophobic in the extreme.

Putting their mother on a pedestal. Right, every woman has her bad and good qualities, but he thinks his mother is directly related to the archangel Gabriel. Your cooking, housekeeping skills, social skills, whatever, always fall short in comparison. And any criticism you express of this wondrous creature makes him look as if he's just been kicked in the teeth by his best friend.

It's win, win, win, all the way. Life, according to men, is one long competition, in which there are winners and losers. Women tend to be more co-operative and conciliatory by nature. Being fiercely competitive obviously has a place, but not when you're playing Ludo with your ten-year-old nieces and nephews.

Assuming their spending is necessary and women's wasteful. The subscription to the golf club is essential – more essential than toothpaste. Many men – there are fortunately exceptions – have no idea what basic household necessities cost. These days it's very easy to spend a thousand rand on unromantic household necessities like coffee, toilet cleaner, dog food and cereal. The cost of food has spiralled in South Africa in the last year, and it's not your partner's fault. She is not wasting money on luxuries.

Rather committing hara-kiri than asking directions. So what's the deal here? Is a man expected to know all roads leading everywhere, even if he's not been there before? And what would happen if he stopped and asked someone instead of driving in circles for 45 minutes? Instantaneous combustion? A public whipping? Instant castration? Surely not, but the prospect, for some reason, is as daunting. Almost as daunting as going to see the doctor about their foot that's starting to look gangrenous.

Wanting to fix things, instead of listening to you. You've had a bad day – the twins had diarrhoea, the domestic worker didn't arrive, but what did arrive was a hefty bill from the Receiver of Revenue. All you want is a sympathetic ear and a pat on the back and a tissue or two, and what do you get? Suggestions about medication, an offering to fire the domestic worker and the telephone number of his tax consultant. OK, that's kind, but it's not what you wanted. You wanted a shoulder to cry on.

A thing of beauty forever. Men, who have gone completely bald and who have a beer belly that would have won them the Ventersdorp Mr Boep competition if they had entered, assume that all women still find them attractive and flirt with them accordingly. What's more, they notice an extra three kilos on their wives – and comment on it. Whatever happened to what was good for the goose, being good for the gander and all that?

They get paid more for doing the same thing. Technically this shouldn't be the case – after all we have one of the most advanced constitutions in the world, don't we? But, statitistics still tell the sorry tale of women being stuck in low-paid, heavygoing jobs with low starting salaries and lower low glass ceilings. And, if one asks around, it still happens frequently that men are paid higher starting salaries than women are.

But then, to balance all this out, there are the bear hugs when you really need them, the sorting out of the dent in your car, the e-mail just to tell you he loves you and the graciousness with which he deals with your difficult mother.

Until da next tyme !

Relationship Month!

Hey peeps,


Ok, ok, ok ok ok........ I am going to give in and dedicate this month or a few weeks to relationships.


For centuries  February has become known as the month of love.... why I really don't know as I see no reason why there should be one month where it's dictated to me that  I must confess my love and do all the romantic things to my partner that " Society" feel I should...


Seriously what happened to the other 11 months , should I just ignore him  during those months and live like its a normal day???


In the next few blogs I will be touching on relationships, the good bad and the taboo!


Until da next tyme!

Love Letters!!

Hey there all,


With Valentines just around the corner ... a day which I feel is not necessary, but money spinners do !
We seem to have lost our ways with the art of writing what we feel in a  good old love letter......


Thanks to the convenience of e-mail, you don't have to be Casanova to send a memorable love letter that will make someone's day. With the recent trend of love letters going digital, these five simple tips will have you well on your way to sending a memorable e-mail love note that your significant other will cherish for years to come.
1. Set the mood: Find a quiet place and a dedicated time to write your love letter. Be sure to minimize distractions so you can focus your thoughts on your loved one and put your emotions into words.
2. Be your most romantic self: A well-written love letter should make your beloved fall more in love with you, so think personal. Focus on the other person and express your emotions, dreams and vulnerability. Never be negative, but try to avoid being too funny. A love letter shares deep and often difficult-to-express feelings and should always sound like it comes from you.
3. Be specific and sincere: Highlight unique quirks or characteristics you love about the person, recall special memories you've shared, or write about the reasons why you fell in love with him or her in the first place. Don't be too casual and don't be afraid to let your true feelings show.
4. Spice up the presentation: Try adding color, special photos of the two of you or graphics. Using e-mail features like Hotmail Quick Add, you can easily search for and add images without leaving your inbox. If your relationship is long distance, or if you're looking to add some more creativity to your letter, you can make and edit a short movie of yourself, a recent trip, or a favorite outdoor spot using free movie-making programs like Windows Live Movie Maker, available at download.live.com.
5. Double-check details before hitting "send": Don't let writing errors distract from the meaning of your words. Read over your letter to make sure it conveys what you really mean and check for spelling and grammar errors. Most importantly, before sending an e-mail love letter, double-check that the "to" line is correct - 1 out of 10 people surveyed have sent love letters to the wrong person by mistake! 


Until da next tyme!

How to Stay Young!!

Hey peeps ,

Whats good? Enjoying the weekend so far ?

I  was sent this today and I  wanted to share !

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.


2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning. ! Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6... The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Until da next tyme!

Life after facebook !

Hey there peeps,

Ok this is the final time I  will touch on this topic.

I have visited this subject in Sept 2009 and  Decemeber 2009!

Sept 2009

Dec 2009

I am closing my Facebook acount!!

By this evening its bye bye Facebook :)

Yes you read right, it no longer holds apoeal with the personal business on there, the stupid widgets that I receieve  etc, we have lost the ability to converse with each other.

Now as I have explained I am partly to blame and  like all others I embraced FB enthusiatically when it arrived on the scene  - these are many reasons for me to close my account, this may seem drastic to some people and to others it may seem justifable, but this is what I believe!.... and unless I am mistaken we are still living in a society where we do have freedom of speech

FB was meant to be a networking tool, which most people utilize it for, however  over the last few months my inbox and news feed, has been overshadowed , by  becoming a Judge Judy, Oprah, Maury and general soap opera amongst some of the people on my friend list.

Don't we have TV for that ?????

From my previous post, I find that friends are receieving news  that are imporatnt by facebook, (WTF) rather than a call or even an email that then requires a call for clarification.

Now I know that it may seem easier and some may say, but at least the message is  being recieved...... however I say, facebook is for meeting and keeping in touch with new and old people, but we should never lose the art of speaking to one another ......that is what makes us human and not a machine.:)


Until da next tyme !

Long and Short of it !

hey peeps,

I saw this story and I wanted to share !

The worlds tallest and shortest man  finally meet .......

He Pingping of China, 21, holds by a leg of Sultan Kosen of Turkey, 27, during an event organized by Guinness World Records in Istanbul, Turkey 

The towering Turk, Kosen, is the tallest man walking the planet with a height of 246.5 cm ( 8 feet 1 inch) and He is officially the world's shortest man with a height of 73 cm (2 feet 5 inch).


Until da next tyme !

Sleep Stealer's!

hey y'all


Getting a good night's sleep can affect your everyday life, your long-term health, and even your relationships. So why are so many of us sleeping poorly? I know that it takes me a while to get to sleep and I cant sleep on a empty stomach. 

Our busy lifestyles often lead us to fewer hours of regenerative sleep. There are many factors that may be robbing you of the qualitysleep you need.


Health and sleep:
Your health can influence the quality of your sleep. Sleep can impact your health and wellness, ability to fight disease, heal and grow.

Stress:
Stress is a fact of life. Unfortunately, stress-induced sleeplessness is also a fact of life for 65 percent of Americans and more recently the British as studies show.

Disruptive bedroom environment:
Sleep experts agree that we need quiet, darkness, cool room temperatures and general comfort to get plenty of Z's.

Inconsistent sleep schedule:
Many factors, including environmental and social, affect our ability to achieve a consistent sleep schedule. What can create a more consistent schedule for you?

Stimulating activities:
Several activities, such as exercise, can make one feel more energetic or mentally alert. If these activities are done too close to bedtime, one may find it difficult to get to sleep.

Poor sleep diet:
Eating close to bedtime can cause discomfort while falling asleep. Alcohol, caffeine and spicy food can also affect how easy (or not) it is to fall asleep and stay asleep at night.

Bedmates:
Partners, kids and pets are great company, but can interfere with our ability to sleep. Find out who and what could be disturbing your sleep and what you can do to improve your bedroom environment.




Until da next tyme!